I Could Write a Book

    Yes, here I sit at 11:05pm and I just finished checking my "checklist". What for ? For dance recital tickets. Yes, you read that correctly. I have a list of things that I was reminded twice to "not forget".

My list:

2 Flashlights (in case one of them quits working)

1 blanket

1 folding chair

1 reading light (it’s going to be pitch dark and there are no street lights around)

1 book

1 ipod - fully charged

1 cell phone (for 911 when the whacko tries to take me)

3 drinks (coffee, water, oj)

3 breakfast / snack options (donut holes, 2 cookies, 1 banana).

    I think that is it. Am I forgetting anything ? It’s going to be cool and damp at 4:30am, well, closer to 5 by the time I get there. I’m wearing bluejeans, tshirt and hoodie jacket. Not putting in contacts or makeup. I think I’ve truly lost my mind. Why am I doing this ?

    I’m doing this for my daughter. So that hopefully I can be in front this year and she can actually know that her mother/family was at the recital to see her. I’m doing this because the dance academy has a really whacked way of selling tickets. I had a friend get there at 5am last year and she said the line was already wrapped around the building. The tickets go on sale at 8am and it is "first come, first serve." So, if you want decent seats - you set your alarm to get up before the roosters and you go.

    Have I ever mentioned that Saturday is my one day to semi-sleep in ? Have I ever mentioned that I am not, without a doubt, a morning person ? Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely love my daughter ? I guess that sums it up. I wonder how many years I will set my alarm at 4:30am to go buy tickets for one of my childrens’ performances/atheletic games ? My answer is: For as long as I have children to show up for.

    I think I’m officially a mom now.  

    Yesterday was a pretty low point in my marriage. I was completely frustrated, disappointed, hurt, angry, defeated, and on and on. Well, because of those emotions I pretty much ignored my husband the entire day. I didn’t lift a finger around the house. He obviously got the point about how upset I was.  With today being Father’s Day I had gone to a little effort and had him a few nice gifts. He loved everything. He was the last one to get out of bed this morning. He got to make the decision regarding what we did today and so forth. After our lunch at the club and me being pleasant to him, the guilt kicked in. On his side I should point out. He suggested that we start working on the room today and I asked "where do you want to start ?" He told me that today he was going to listen to his wife on that one. 8 hours later I am 75% done with rearranging the front 3 bedrooms. We started in J’s room and moved her bed to the other side of the room and then went to the boys room and began. He disassembled all the furniture and helped me moved the big pieces around. I’ve done everything, but he helped me where I needed it. I’m actually very thankful for his help today. It made up for how badly I felt towards him yesterday.

    I’m glad I was busy all day. It helped keep my mind off of my father. I miss him. I kept wanting to pick up the phone this morning and call him, but I’ve yet to find out the direct number to heaven.  I always think back to the last Father’s Day I spent with him. Ugh. I can’t even talk about the gift I got him. I think I must have been out of my mind. It was so sad that day knowing that that was the last Father’s Day I was going to be able to spend with him. I’m not sure if I even took pics that day. I am pretty sure I did. I think I know which ones they are. That was before digital pics for me. blah.

    Tomorrow starts Vacation Bible School. Yes, I’m teaching. LOL. Oh, if they only knew.  It’s going to be an interesting week. VBS all morning long. Exercise - when ? I promise I’m going to exercise at least 3 days this week. That is going to be a test. Cooking ought to be interesting, too. LOL. Santa still hasn’t delivered my maid or personal chef, yet. I’m guessing I was on the naughty list this year and no one had the heart to tell me.

    Sleep tight, all. I’m punch drunk.  Oh, I let the battery drain on my ipod and it unfroze and my computer recognized it. Hopefully, it will continue working.

Today has been one of those days. A little bit of good. A lot of bad. I had a great time at the movies tonight with my wonderful friend. "Knocked Up" was snorting hilarious. Glad I was of some entertainment to someone today.

I unloaded all of my day’s frustrations to my friend and she suggested "Rent-a-Husaband". Yes, others have suggested hiring someone to help me out but none have actually said a name. I guess it took being completely literal with me before "I got it". Rent-a-Husband might actually save my marriage. We will see.

So, there you have it. The synopsis of my day (minus a few(whole lot of) very boring details).  Oh, the biggest heartbreaker today - I think I’ve killed my ipod.

Today I was told that I express myself well, but I did so loquaciously. For those of you who need to know the definition of that word - it means that I use way too many words. lol. I must say that I am very aware of that. It is said that the average person uses 5000 words per day. Well, when you are talking to  8 , 5 and 4 1/2 year olds all day you have at least 4500 hundred words left over at the end of the day. I still haven’t decided if I was given a compliment or not.

Tob did it again tonight. He was up to bat, there were 2 on the bases and he knocks a home run in. Woohoo. They won by one run. His run. His team is going into the Championship Tournament in 1st place. He was so excited. I love seeing him smile when he is proud of himself. Also at Cub Scout camp, he built a little tool box. I think it is the first time that he has ever hammered anything in his life. It turned out very good and it will be one of those little things that as a parent you keep forever. He even signed his name on the bottom.

Poor G and J got to spend 3 hours and 15 minutes in the car with me today. That definitely wasn’t planned. Holy moly, Batman. The traffic sucketh around here. We had a squall come through and of course, the dummies can’t drive in the rain. I saw 3 wrecks and they had traffic backed up for miles. I actually went out of my way by about 10 miles just to go around a wreck. It was a million times quicker. I had no idea that we would be in the car that long. I said that already, huh ? Another example of my loquaciousness. I think I’m going to start using one big word a day.

And for all of you who love music and your ipods, I found out about LimeWire today.  I’m having a ton of fun on it. I’ve got it going to a shared folder that opens in iTunes, but have yet to figure out how to put the songs into an actual playlist on there. Any suggestions ?

And I just got a call from my sister. Woohoo ! She and her husband finished painting the baby’s room. That means I don’t have to go tomorrow. That means I can actually go exercise. Now if I could get my music on my ipod.

Peace out, Babycakes. 

    I have no idea what has happened to my eating today. It has sucked about as royally as it possibly could. I’m chalking it up to stress and the fact that I wasn’t completely satisfied with cardio tennis today. I ate fried chicken and M & Ms today. I don’t think it could get much worse than that. However, I’ve gotten some answers to some things that were strssing me out - I think I’ll have my eating under control tomorrow. I hope.

    Speaking of food, now I’m craving a scrambled egg sandwich with pickles and mayo. Oh, good grief. I’ve got to get a grip. What has happened ?  

    My youngest two get out of school this week. That is so going to mess up my working out. Wahh. For a solid week I might add. My health club doesn’t open up it’s "hang out" for a whole week. That means I’ve got to become creative or I can’t work out at all. That SUCKS. Makes me want to cry.  You want to volunteer to come babysit so I can workout ? Also, is your maid available for me yet ? I know mentally that I would feel tons better if I could get my house all clean at the same dang time. It’s a losing battle and I’m about to give up.

    Winkie actually went into his crate tonight without throwing his little body against the door. That’s a huge improvement. I’m trying to make him feel like a "loved pup". I look deep into his little dark eyes and I speak very calmly to him. It works. Makes him submissive to me. Yeehaw. About time.

    I need some new workout music for my ipod. Feel free to leave me a good song suggestion or two.

    Tomorrow is "hump" day. I used to look forward to that day. LOL. Now, I’m OLDDDDDDDDDDDDDD and that just means the weekend is nearer. hehe. Time to re-read my magnet. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were ? 

Peace out, Babycakes.  

Tonight was my daugther’s 1st dance recital. She was in preschool ballet and they danced to "Ballerina Girl". I completely surprised myself when I started crying once she started dancing. At first she stood there ,but after 30 seconds or so she joined right in. I was so proud of her. Her teacher told me afterwards that she was most afraid for Juliana. She thought that Juliana would not go out onto the stage. Before they went on, supposedly, Juliana was clutching her hand telling her that she was scared. You never knew any of that on stage.

There were some beautiful dances tonight, some funky ones, and some girls that really knew what they were doing. It was inspiring to watch. I truly hope that J keeps up her "passion" for dance.

This morning was filled with my eldest’s son’s "athletic awards banquet". He was so proud of himself. I got the cutest picture of him with two of his buddies. Incidences like that really make it difficult for me to switch him from that school. wahh. Parenting is difficult.

I skipped working out today. There were not enough hours in the day to get it in. I also ate a piece of German chocolate cake tonight. Oh, ellipitical, oh elliptical. How I love thee, elliptical. (yeah right). I’ll be on that sucker tomorrow. lol. I must remember to take my ipod. I can not do cardio without music.

Oh, want to know something that I thought about tonight ? On this date exactly 3 years ago I first saw a picture of my daughter. Isn’t that something ? I remember opening up that email and seeing her face and thinking "that is my daughter" and tonight when she was out on that stage I was sitting there thinking "that is my daughter". You know I was crying.

Sleep well. Send some sandman sprinkles to my puppy. I need to sleep.
 

For some reason today, I haven’t felt as "peppy" as I normally do. lol. My routine got off and one thing most people know about me is that I am a very routine person. Let me get "off" and it pretty much takes me a whole day to get back on track. I’ve been a bear, today. Grouchy, growling, short-tempered. I’m really hoping I wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow.

Since I couldn’t seem to shake my funk I started playing mental games with myself. You know the one where you go "Come on, think of something positive." etc. When I was trying to think of something positive (yes, I’ve been that pathetic, today) I started thinking about the best gifts I’ve received in my life. Totally corny, but know what ? It made me laugh and since I’m thinking about it I’m going to share some of the things I love.  

Material gifts :

#1. My ipod. I got this last year for a Valentine’s Day gift. I was smart that year and sent dh a link in his email that said "buy this for my gift". LOL. I tell him all the time "it’s the best gift you’ve ever given me." LOL. It is, for real. I honestly do not know how people live without them. I’m that addicted to my little ipod. Recently, my partner(tennis) and I went so far as to buy the Ipod book - Everything You Didn’t Know - or some smack like that. I carry my ipod with me everywhere. And yes, I mean everywhere.

#2. My rosary. It was given to me by a very special friend. One who shares my passion about my religion and it is absolutely beautiful. I would die if I lost it. It means that much to me. I carry it in a special little pouch and just like my ipod it goes everywhere with me.

#3. My kitchen Tv. After Katrina tried to destroy our house, I really didn’t want to live in it again. Can’t say that I was very excited about coming back "home". Dh knew I was having a very difficult time and he told me he would buy me anything I wanted to go in (what was left of) our house. I told him I wanted a little flat screen Tv to go in my kitchen. I love it. Makes cooking and cleaning the kitchen so nice. I like to drink coffee in there in the morning time, watching the news on it.

#4. My Emeril pots and pans. LOL. Yes, the non-cooker learned how to cook and fell in-love with it. I got this set of cookware this year for Christmas and I almost can’t wait to cook everyday because I get to cook in my "pretty pans".  

Non-material gifts:

#1. My friends. Yes, I consider you all a gift. I’ve truly been blessed in my life by each and everyone of you. I owe a lot of you - a lot. I think back to Katrina and all the help I received from everyone, down to the help I got in my house rearranging rooms so my family could fit in what was left. I love you all.

#2. My father living long enough to see my first-born. I consider that a gift from God. Yes, at times, I still want to get angry at God for taking my Father from me, but I do thank Him for letting "Poppa" live long enough to see Tob.

#3. My children. They absolutely hold the #1 spot in my heart. I am so thankful and so incredibly blessed to have my children. They are each so different and so special in their own ways. I love them beyond belief and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without them. I am one of those moms who could spend everyday with their children. I love them that much.  (Yes, they do get on nerves. I’m not a Saint)

#4. My religion. I love it. It’s another thing that I do not think I could live without. I grew up in church all of my life, but that wasn’t a choice. Once I hit my mid-30’s I really started questioning God and my faith and my religion. I did a lot of soul searching and studying and I found what is best for me. I made my own choice and I just love it. I absolutely love going to Mass. I would say that after church on Sundays is when I feel the most calm and peaceful all week long.

Well, there you have it. I almost wrote a book. lol

I hope you’ve all had a great day or at minimum I hope you all woke up on the right side of the bed today. lol. If not, there’s always tomorrow.