I Could Write a Book

     This has been the summer of the "Dr of the Day." Tobin has been keeping me very busy in the doctors’ offices.

     Today he got his cast off of his arm. They removed the cast and xrayed it and said that his bone was healed. The Dr made him go through a routine of movements and when none caused him any pain the Dr declared, "no more casts." Woohoo. We were really expecting to get a soft cast for another week or two. The first thing he did when he got home was jump in the swimming pool.

     Tomorrow we are off to see the "dentist specialist person". I have no idea what you even call her. She’s the one who is going to do the root canal on Tob’s tooth. His tooth has obviously died and is causing him a lot of pain. I took him to an emergency dental appointment yesterday morning and our regular dentist confirmed that he was indeed going to have to get a root canal. Tob is not happy about it. He keeps asking me if they could just pull the tooth and put in a "gold" one. Uh, son, I don’t think that’s going to happen in this family. Lol. Still a cute thought, but nope, not going to happen.

     Gray still has his rash and if it doesn’t clear by tomorrow I’m taking him in to the pediatrician. Juliana is still having pottying issues and I’m about to lose my mind over that one. I’ve got a headache that could kill a horse and I’m concerned because I keep getting this head pain in the exact same spot. All I keep wondering is "do I have a brain tumor like my grandfather did?" That’s a happy thought, eh ? 

     Tonight was the longest board meeting ever. Not that I have anything else in my life to do. UGH. Yes, that was sarcastic. Between hitting the different doctors’ offices I’m trying to hit the shoe store, school uniform store and the school supply store. I also need to hit the Jr League meeting store since I’ve got a lot of shitake to do before Monday morning. And oh yes, the luggage is still sitting in the foyer. Rest of the house is clean. The luggage just needs unpacking and laundered. Any takers ? Didn’t think so. 

Peace out and lots of butterfly kisses.

    My kids were late to school. J knocks her head on the door getting out of the car. I make it through an emotional funeral and hot as hell burial. I put in calls to 4 different babysitters so dh doesn’t have to go to Open House or "babysit" our children tonight. I have a blow out on the way home. I have a massive headache. A nice man stops and helps me. (Thank you for not raping and or kidnapping me) I inadvertently end up with 2 babysitters tonight. Cancel one. Go to open house - with massive headache. Get a call saying daughter has poo’ed everywhere. Babysitter doesn’t know what to do. I go home and deal with poo. Take babysitter home. Get back and son #1 poos and overflows the toliet. Water and poo are going everywhere. He is crying and screaming. Son #2 is crying and screaming. If there hadn’t been so much "stuff" on the floor I would have sat down and cried. I call dh and tell him to buy me so much sushi I can’t eat it all. I think he can tell by the tone of my voice that something is wrong. He says he will pick up sushi and come home. LOL.

    I have my first competitive tennis match for the season tomorrow. I get to drive on a spare tire with low air. The warning in the car won’t go off. I may arrive drinking.

    I’m crashing in bed. Peace out.  

At this moment, my grandfather is still alive. That fact is very unexpected and everytime the phone rings today I keep expecting it to the be "that call."  I hate it when I dread answering the phone.

I was able to go spend sometime with my Grandfather before I left out of town on Friday. I ended up being alone with him for almost 2 hours. I am so very grateful for that time. I told him I loved him. I kissed him.  I told him that I would see him in heaven one day. After I told that to him, I paused for a bit and was quiet and very reflective towards my grandfather’s life. My grandfather was not always a good man. In fact, he did many things that he should have been put in jail for. In my opinion, that is. I know that he was a member of the KKK. I know that he did horrible things to his children. Half of them have not spoken to him in years. He did not always treat my grandmother the best while she was alive.

Did he ever do anything bad to me ? No. Not that I can remember. Am I sad that he is dying ? I am sad for those that it is going to hurt. I am sad for his wife (he remarried after my grandmother’s death) for she loves him dearly. Their 20th anniversary would have been next month. I am sad for his children who are losing a father that they loved. I am sad for his children who never took the opportunity or just wasn’t able to come at peace or forgive him for the things he did wrong. I am sad for me that I didn’t have that "Norman Rockwell type Grandfather".

Do I have happy memories of my grandfather ? Yes, I do. My grandfather never learned to read. However, when I was 30, he learned his numbers and I think most of his alphabet. I was at his house visiting and he pointed to a tire on the tractor and he said "I can tell you what that says" and he read off the numbers and letters to me. He was so proud of himself. I was so happy for him. He was smiling bigger than I had ever seen.  I remember giving him cards as a little girl and standing to his side and reading them to him so he would know what they said. It is still amazing to me that he never learned to read in today’s world. He is not quite 80. It is not like he never had the opportunity to learn. Yes, I know that his father was killed when he was 7 and that he stayed home after that to help his mother raise the other kids and take care of the farm, but I wonder why didn’t he take the time to learn to read with his own children ?   

Supposedly, my grandfather made peace with the Lord and asked for forgiveness some years back. I am happy to know that about him. I hope it is true. I am very grateful for his death because that means he will not be suffering anymore. No one should suffer while dying.  

There are many things that I could say about my grandfather. Some good. Some not so good.  He was always a handsome man. Tall. I’m sure that is partly where I get my height. While I am not proud of all that he did in his life it is not my place to judge.  So, rest in peace my Dear Grandfather. I am so thankful I was able to sit there and hold your hand so you were not alone while you were dying.