I Could Write a Book

At this moment, I’m smiling. That’s amazing considering that one hour ago I came home from a meeting in a rank mood. Really rank mood. Why am I smiling ? Well, I’m smiling because someone asked me about my true love. My true love does not equal dh. Hmm, to be fair, I should say, "I’m speaking of that young true love." For all I know if I was around this person today I might think he was a complete ass.

Memories sure are a funny thing. There are places I’ve been I can’t even remember the name of but I can remember almost every detail of the first night I told this person that I loved him. I wonder if he remembers it ? It’s probably for the best that I do not ask him that because I know I’d be disappointed with the answer. I remember standing in the kitchen and telling his mother the names that we had picked out if we had sons. Good grief.

Speaking of his mother, she deserves a special star for putting up with me. I wasn’t mean to her or anything but she sure spoiled me. I went through this one stage where I wouldn’t eat fish. (Ironic now that all I want is raw fish.) She would always cook me some other meat. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it ? Well, not till I tell you that she did all this other meat cooking for me at their fishing camp. LOL. I think I’d beat my daughter if she did that to her boyfriend’s mother.

We had some great days at that camp. I loved going crabbing, running trout lines, gigging and especially riding the jet ski. Taking the big boat out alone was a lot of fun, too. Ah, to be young again. It would be so neat to look into a crystal ball that could show me what my life would have been like if I had taken that road. I know I’d be digging in a garden a lot.

Happy Spring, Y’all. I hope you have fun thinking back on your young loves.  

    Well, I did it. I just dropped my classes I had registered for next semester. I don’t know whether to feel relieved or to cry. I feel like a failure. I know intellectually that just because I’m not going next semester doesn’t mean that I’m never going back. I think it is the fear that if I stop school now that I won’t finish. I think I’m realizing just how important my Master’s degree is to me.

    So, that brings me to the next step in my life - the "presidency".  I am not going to self-nominate. If someone thinks I’ll be a good candidate they will have to put in the nomination for me. Also, if I don’t win - then back to school I go for the next semester. No harm done, right ? ~breathes deeply~ It’s just super scary to me. How am I supposed to know if I’m making the right decision? You’d think this would get easier the older you get.

If I went to more places like this ~~~~>   I’m sure the decision wouldn’t be so daunting !

    I feel like I have a lot more to accomplish in my life right now. I pray that I have a lot more life to accomplish everything in. Don’t forget to say ~I love you~ to the one(s) you love.  

    41 years old and I’m still experiencing "firsts" in my life. Go me. Today my "first" was pilates. My new exercise love. While you’re doing the class it doesn’t seem to be "too hard", but oh my goodness, a couple hours later and my thighs were screaming. I am so happy. I feel so much better mentally when I’m exercising. It makes me a better person all around not just healthier.

    Want to know how badly my thighs are screaming ? Bad enough that I went on a walk just to loosen my legs up. I’d say I got a pretty good workout. Have I mentioned how much happier I am when I’m exercising ? I feel like I lose a part of me when I’m not doing something to focus on me and dang, this summer "me" went completely out the window. Well, other than reading. Oh, and other than no meetings. I’m making up for that now, though.

    How wrong is it to take aleve on your first day of exercising ? Man, I’m getting old. I’m going to cardio tennis tomorrow morning and at this rate I’m not sure if I will be able to run after the balls. The tennis pro is going to have a field day with me tomorrow. I’m gearing up for the Aussie accent saying "what the helllllllllll was that ? " LOL.

    School starts Friday. God bless school. For the children I mean. I’m 90% sure I’m taking this semester off of school. It will give me the time I need to make those big decisions. ackk. ackk.

Peace out, all. Don’t forget to tell the one(s) you love ~I love you~. If this blog is never updated again you will know I had a heart attack during tennis tomorrow. I’m afraid my heart might go into shock from exercising two days in a row.  

    It’s time for me to make some "presidential decisions." Am I speaking of deciding between Bush and Obama ? No, I am not. I am referring to the position of President of my Jr League. To some that may not be a big decision. For me, it is the difference of going to graduate school full-time at the age of 42 or 44. When it was put into perspective of "only 2 years difference" yesterday, I thought "maybe I can be the president." Now, just because I decide to accept the nomination of the president position doesn’t mean I’ve won it. Hmm, let me go back to this weekend.

    This weekend was the "board / bored retreat." It’s a wonderful mandatory obligation of serving on the board. It’s actually an interesting time to learn neat, little tidbits about your fellow members. IE: one of our board members collects cacti. We also get a lot of leadership training, effective communication, and some problem solving guidelines. A true shame that they can’t teach me proper grammar while there.

    Unknown to me, the creative team member had been assessed of the fact that I’m a potential canditate for the position and that I am undecided because of the possiblity of graduate school. She was very effective in her line of questioning to me and helped me to look at the "bigger picture." One of the questions I was asked, "why do you want this Master’s degree ?" Well," I said, "it’s a personal goal of mine." She asked if I had an age deadline to obtain that goal. She asked what did I plan on doing with that degree, etc.  I think the fact that I said I wouldn’t work unless it was necessary made me realize that if that is indeed the case it would be okay to wait for 2 more years before tackling that mountain.

    Why don’t I put off the presidency nomination ? If I burn this bridge now, so-to-speak, I probably will not get another chance. Even though I know taking on the possible position will be a lot of work, I know it would be very rewarding for me. Nice, little ego stroke. The main reason - I know I’d be a great leader.

   So, I’m off to the prayers. I’m off to look for guidance. I’ve got a month to let the league know if I will accept the nomination, but I’ve only got 3 weeks before I really need to drop my class(es). I know that school will always be there for me. Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. I wished someone could show me a crystal ball that laid out my life map for me to view. How on earth does one know if they are making the correct decisions ? 

    Good luck in your "presidential decisions", as well. I hope you use your knowledge and your prayers in determining your correct decision, too. We all need to remember that every little decision we make in our lives have huge impacts on the rest of our lives.

Peace out. Sweet dreams. Oh, I can’t wait to sleep in my bed. 6 hours of sleep in 72 hours does not hack it. ~~ I love you ~~ (don’t forget to say it) 

    I’m back in the land of humidity and I’m loving it. I went out for a bike ride last night and was dripping sweat in just a few minutes. The kids keep asking me "why is it so hot?" I tell them, "it’s because we are in Louisiana." It feels so dang good to be home. It’s going to take me a few days to get back on a normal schedule and to learn how to breathe in the humidity, but otherwise, it’s wonderful.

    I grilled last night. I think I got really lucky because my pork chops were divine. The children kept telling me, "mom, this chicken is good." LOL. If I had told them it was pork they wouldn’t have eaten it.  

    Here’s a new’s headline: I shaved my legs !!! Bigfoot doesn’t like me anymore. I think I lost at least a pound just from shaving. Like I said - I’m back in civilization. I’m off to get my hair done and hopefully after that I will be ready to face my friends, again. Dang I’ve missed everyone.

    Have a great day, ya’ll. 

Tomorrow I’m off to Alabama. Going to go see my wonderful "Bama" friend.  I’m hoping to have a very "chill" weekend. I hope I come back a little more whole. I’m a tad nervous about the trip, but I think it will do me a ton of good. I really need to get away from here. I really need to be there. I plan on coming back with a little bit of Bama in me. 

Tonight was the continuation of T’s baseball tournament. They lost by one run and boy were there some crying little boys. Yes, 9 & 10 year old boys still cry when they lose a game. Personally, I think losing the games teaches a much better life lesson than if they had won the game. They came in 3rd place , which I think is awesome, and they will have their picture in the paper. Woohoo. Good job A’s.

I’ve got more bug bites and zits on me than a teenager whose been making out in the woods for a month. Good grief. Oh, the joys of being in the woods with the Cub Scouts this week. Even though I now look like "big foot" (and I have the actual feet to match) I think they will still let me in the state of Alabama. Roll Tide !  If my LSU friends could hear me say that right now they would probably tar me. LOL.
 

I’ll be back home on Sunday evening, maybe. If for some reason you never hear back from me again - you know I’ve stayed. Lol.   I’m truly looking forward to my time in Bama. I hope you all have a great weekend ! Happy Father’s Day to all the father’s out there. Remember - everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives. Make all your days count.

Peace out. Tell the one(s) you love that you love them.

Dear Month of May,

    Goodbye Dear sucky May.  I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier in my life to see the month of May gone. Gone forever.

    In case you can’t tell by my very subtle words, May pretty much sucked in my opinion. Some of you have listened to me cry on the phone. Others have offered up prayers. I’m sure lots thought I was truly losing my mind at times. Goodness knows I was in that category. Yes, tomorrow starts "hurricane season" here, but I will gladly take a hurricane over "May" again.

    Just so you can stop trying to figure out what was so bad in my life during the month of May (and  in case dementia strikes me sooner than I expect) here are just a couple of examples: death, potential death (yes, the day dh thought he was truly having a heart attack was a fun one) (that’s sarcastic) (sorta), hernias (J has to have surgery), boils on butts(that’s private), finals (ended up with a "B" in the class) ~boo hiss~, Jr League Banquet - (that actually somehow got pulled off quite nicely), baseball games 5 nights a week (peanuts anyone?) and on and on and on. My stress level was so high at one point, I actually had a very nice gay man tell me I need to take more soy to help my menopausal symptons. (I’m not making that one up, lol)

    Goodbye ugly month of May. May I never have to live through another like you - ever. And in case you haven’t picked up this tidbit from me before — be sure and tell the one(s) you love ~ I love you ~ You truly never know when that last time will come.

butterfly kisses to all 

I am honestly about to lose my mind. If I make an “A” in this class it will be a miracle. (takes a deep breath here) I’ve got friends and neighbors who know how close to insanity I am right now and one suggested this little “Positive Pause” to me. I’m pasting it here so I can watch it over and over every time I feel the need to go jump off a bridge.

I know that I’m taking a lot of things for granted, right now. For those, I should be ashamed.

Happy April All ! This month has definitely arrived with its share of showers. I’m going to be looking in May to see if these showers brought us any May flowers. The ones I have blooming right now are looking beautiful. Geepers, I’m getting old. Only old people talk about their flowers, right ? lol.

I bet you can’t guess that I have a very busy month this month. Nope, not me. Snorts. What is it with my life right now ? I’ve truly cut a lot of stuff out. In fact, I’d say that I’m doing the bare minimum lately and I still feel overwhelmed. I’ll be glad when I don’t feel overwhelmed right now. When is that ? I’m projecting sometime around May 22. Woohooo. I know I’m not supposed to want to rush my life by, but right now, I keep looking at that date and saying "If I can make it till then, I’ve got it made." Between now and then, it’s going to be busy.

I’ve got too much on my mind. Too many things, people, test, etc that I’m worried about right now. Anyone want to run away with me ? And yes, I’ve turned it all over to God. I know He’s in control. I know that for whatever reason a lot of this stuff is happening - God has a plan and a reason for it. Thought I’d save some of the email to me. lol. I know that they’re out of love, truly.

This past week pretty much sucked in my opinion. I forgot things for the kids at their school. I lost my first tennis match of the season. I’m pretty sure I bombed my test this week. It’s been PMS on top of all of that and well, I haven’t been in the best place mentally. I told my sister that I’ve considered going on something. Yes, it’s been that tough. I still haven’t scheduled my son’s bday party for his school friends. UGH. I hate those things.

Postive things in my life :1) I’m still alive and I have my health and even though I lose in tennis - I still get to enjoy being outside. I love, love, love being outside. I love being in the sun and hearing the nature sounds. Someone please remind me of this when I’m totally freaking out in Michigan this summer. lol. 2) I’m registered for another class next semester. Oh, it interfers with the "Jr League board meeting". Dang. I might have to resign. Do you see the smile on my face ? I’m bad. I’m bad. I’m bad. 3) I’m losing weight. woohoo. I’m finally to a place in my life where I’m having to make myself eat at times. I can say that this is truly a first. 4) I have beautiful children and a nice home and a wonderful church and lovely friends. I know I’m blessed. I really am and I am so incredibly thankful for everything and everyone in my life.

I think I will end this first April post of mine on that last postive note. I hope you all enjoy your day. Don’t forget to tell the ones you love that you love them.

Peace out,

Babycakes 

Today, I  was thinking about a particular person and an accident they’ve encountered when all of a sudden I stopped focusing on the physical part of their accident and started thinking about the mental part of their accident. As we all know, every thing that happens to us in life shapes us, changes us, makes us the people that we are today. Goodness knows that my life is completely different today than it was 10 years ago and I’m a much different person today than I was back then. Back to my original thought — I started thinking "what was it like for this individual when their accident occured?" "Was there anything in their life that they wished they had done differently ? Anyone they wished they had told they loved  or that they forgave them?" etc.

After those initial ponderings, I started wondering "was anybody there with them?" "Were they alone?" And those two thoughts brings me all the way to the title of this post: "Sucide Memories". This story is not one that I talk about very much at all. Not like you can say at a party "hey, want to hear about the guy who committed suicide in front of me?" Not a great ice breaker, in my opinion.

It was December 26, 2001. Yes, the day after Christmas. The day when either the happiness and love of being with family and friends are still in your heart or either it is the day when you realize that you just spent the day before totally alone and depressed and wonder "why am I here?" Obviously, for the person in this memory, his thoughts must have run a little more towards the second question.

I was in New Orleans and driving back home. My mother still lived there. This was before Katrina. T was in the car seat, just a toddler at the time. I rounded the bend by the Superdome and was following a little sedan. Not too closely, thank goodness. I drive right under the overpass , nearest to the Dome, when the car in front of me swerves out of the blue. I look directly at the road to see that there is someone now laying on this very busy  roadway. I had seen something fall in front of the car but I really thought someone had thrown garbage off of the overpass. When I realize that this person has just jumped from above, I pull over on the side of the road (leaving T in his carseat) and I’m the second person to reach this individual. A paramedic follows behind me very closely. A preacher arrives from somewhere and kneels and starts praying over this male’s head. He is praying so loudly. I hear no other sounds around me. There is blood near me. I remember being almost afraid to touch this person because I was concerned of catching AIDs somehow.

I took his hand and held it. I started thinking "if this was my child I wouldn’t want him to be alone". I guess my maternal instincts kicked in. I stayed there and held his hand until the ambulance got there to take him away. I knew there was no way he was going to survive. He was doing "agonal breathing" and there was obviously a lot of internal damage. I remember getting up and realizing that the traffic was still zooming by us. That the noise from everything was deafening, but yet, I had heard nothing other than the preacher praying.

I watched the newspaper for days afterwards to see if I could find out his name. I did. He was 19 and at home from college on Christmas break. He had left a basketball game (I think) that he had been watching with his family and walked to this overpass and jumped off. The family said they had no idea anything was wrong with him.

To this day, I’ve contemplated contacting the mother and just telling her "He wasn’t alone. There were a couple of us with him. We did all we could."  I’m just not sure that the mother would want a wound like this to be that compeltely reopened again, so I’ve left well enough alone.

To say that the drive home that night is a blur is an understatement. I don’t remember it. I remember thinking "how can someone do this? What was so wrong that the day after Christmas they kill themselves?" It made me very sad for a long time.

To this day, I can not drive under that overpass without reliving the whole scene.

The end.  

    I made an A on my midterm. I made the lowest A possible - 93. I so do not care. lol. I just needed to toot my own horn. Just shows that a 41 year old, mother of 3 can still make it in school. lol.

    Tomorrow is T’s big field trip. You’d think we were going across the world by gauging his excitment. I can now relax and have a very fun and special day with my eldest son.

    Enjoy your life all. Tell those you love - you love them. You never know when your last chance is going to happen.

I love you all ! 

Well, here I’ve gone and done it again. I’ve let 2 weeks go by before writing in my blog. Why ? Because I’ve been unbelievably busy. I’ve had people call and ask "did you get that email on such and such?" Uh, no. What’s email ? lol. If it hasn’t been extremely important in the last 2 weeks - it hasn’t gotten done.

Thank the good Lord above - my midterm is over. I’m not real sure what kind of grade I’m going to make. The longer I sit here, the more I think about "well, I should have written this down, etc". Oh, well. It’s water under the bridge, now. I’m just praying for an 85. That’s the lowest B and I will be more than thrilled. I will be celebrating on Wednesday if I make an 85. Bigtime celebrating.  I’m also prepared for the fact that I might not get an 85 and well, I’ll say I had a good attempt at graduate school, swallow my pride and move on in life. Blah, blah, blah.

I need sleep. I need fun. I need relaxation. Who wants to adopt me at their house for a weekend ? I’m ready to fly somewhere and just get away. <<<—- That’s a serious question. lol.  

J’s 5th bday was last Tuesday. She’s getting cuter by the day. More stubborn, too. We had her school friend birthday party this past Saturday and I must say that for as much as I stressed about it - it was a success. Enough said. I’m still not sure what to do regarding T’s bday.  

This afternoon is tennis for G, religion class for T, and a wonderful business meeting (Jr League) for myself. (I still haven’t looked at the million of emails I’m supposed to be reading. Ignorance is bliss) So, I’m back on a normal, crazy schedule again. I’m reentering my family today. I was pretty much a studying hermit all weekend.

On Thursday, I’ll be on a 3rd grade field trip to our State Capital and surrounding museums. Oh, 1 1/2 hours on a bus each way with 30 8-9 year olds will be fun. Right ? lol.

Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts and well-wishes I’ve received. I truly appreciate them.  

A: Age - today is my last day to be 40 ! Must say that I’m very happy to be 40 today. lol. Tomorrow is (ack, gasp) 41. A = not the grade I’m going to make in neuroanatomy. (I’ll live - I think).

B: Birthdays, basketball, and basket case. Three birthdays are coming right up in my nuclear family - mine, J’s, and T’s. whew. Basketball - T is playing for his school team and loving it. Basket case - what I am. Way too Busy. B = the grade I better end up with in neuroanatomy.

C:  Church and Crazy.  For lent this year, I said I was not going to miss a single Sunday of Church. So far, so good. (sad, huh?) Crazy = that just pretty much sums up me and my life. I keep repeating "this too shall pass." 

D: Dumb and Disney. Good grief, I’ve never felt so dumb in all my life. Being out of school and jumping back in has shown me that I lost quiet a few brain cells with marriage, kids, and their craziness. Disney World rocked this last trip. The kids are at such great ages to really enjoy it. We had a very nice time with only minimal stress.

E:  Energy or lack thereof, and Excited.Energy =  I have none. Even though I’m not making an A in my class, I’m really Excited about being back at school. I do love the energy on campus and I love learning. I do not necessarily love studying, but I love learning.

F: Family and Fat. My nuclear family seems to be doing okay right now. We have our good days and our bad days. I think we are too busy to notice all the little things that would generally get on our nerves. A quote from my eldest son the other day "mom, I used to think you were fat, but I don’t anymore."  Uh, gee thanks, son. lol.

G:  G can only stand for G my middle son. I know I brag on him a lot, but he is the most sensitive little thing and so loving. A suck-up, some people call him. My little "golden boy" - for his hair. He really makes me smile. He is still little enough that he wants you to hold him and love on him and give him kisses. My 3rd grader is now embarassed by the display of motherly love.

H: Home - my childhood home. The house I grew up in just got sold. I went and spent a while there last weekend so I could take pictures, talk about memories, show my children the tree my father planted for me, etc. It is very bittersweet telling it goodbye. I’m happy for my sis to be moving to bigger and better, but I’m very sad to know that I’ll never go back "home".

I: Interesting. Is this "February fill-in" interesting to you ? Probably not, but it’s a way for me to recap a month that just flew by in my life. Whew. Time truly flies.

J: Jealousy, Jr League, and Jenny Craig. Eeek, every now and then we’ve got some jealousy issues going on with the siblings. I think the eldest gets a little jealous when he sees his sister getting attention. He accidentally uttered the words one day - "that’s not your mom" to J. He got a lot of tough love that day. I bet he thinks twice before saying something like that again, though. Parenting is hard. OMG, Jr League takes up so much of my time. I’m sure I’ve pissed some people off, but I’ve started saying "no". Sorry, I have a life. I can’t come to 4 meetings in one week no matter how much of a hissy fit you throw. Jenny Craig - I’m determined to lose "Montana" - my ass for those of you who do not know what I call my big ole bum. I’m doing okay on the program. I could do better.

K: K is all about me. me. me. me. Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ve asked for a "grill" and for lobsters for my dinner. Dh asked me "do you really want a grill for your birthday ?" Well, unless you really want to go buy me the watch of my dreams - a grill will do. Opps, some of the princess just came out. grins.

L: Love and Laughter. I love my life. I love my children. I love my friends - even the ones who really get on my nerves. I love my family - even the ones who really get on my nerves.  I love to laugh. I really do. I can’t wait for "Dan in Real Life" to come out so I can buy it and laugh and laugh and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.

M:  Michigan. Michigan - here I come. I can’t believe that I’m actually looking forward to going to Michigan this year. I’ll either be up there for 4 or 5 weeks. I can’t wait till there isn’t "jack shit" to do except start a fire and roast marshmellows on the beach. I think it is going to be wonderful to get the kids away from the crazy schedule we have here. My sis and her children are coming up for 2 weeks and I can’t wait to make more memories with them. We had the absolute best time together the last time. It’s going to be grand.

N: Nerves, neurons, neuroanatomy. I’m so sick of learning about nevers, neurons, blah blah blah - I will celebrate when I finish this class. smiles. I still love it, though. Yeah, yeah. That’s a bit of a contradiction. Hey, I’d be boring, otherwise.

O: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Lord. My mind just went completely in the gutter when I typed out "O". Lol. I think that has to do with my friends on my board. Let’s just say, I’ve invested in "fish oil" - for my skin. Yeah, right. LOL.

P: Princess J. Princess J or Princess Mini-me is my daughter. It is amazing how one minute she can completely get on my nerves for doing whatever she shouldn’t be doing and the next minute she will be singing like there is no tomorrow. She loves to sing. She loves her mommy. She is so dang stubborn. She is going to be 5 next week. I can’t believe it. We’re going to have her first "big girl" birthday party for her. Inviting the whole class. Did I lose my mind ?

Q: Queen of the Jungle. That’s what it says on the Disney hat that dh got me for Valentine’s Day. I think that’s pretty appropiate considering I call our house "the jungle". It’s wild and loud in here. The kids are everywhere. But you know what ? I really own a home. Not a museum like some houses I know. My home is definitely lived in and definitely looks and sounds like a jungle.

R: Rest - or lack thereof. I never get enough rest. I was excited the other morning when I realized that I slept for 6 1/2 hours. There isn’t enough time in the day (or night) to do everything. There are times when I’m up at 3:30am studying for a test because I’m too anxious to sleep. I just figure if I’m awake I might as well be doing something productive.

S: School. Whose bright idea was it for me to go back to school ? Also, what about these school projects that the kids have to do ? As dh said last night "it’s a myth that these projects (school projects) are for kids". All 3 of us were working on a project of T’s that was due today. We’ve been working on it for 3 weeks. I just pray that T was smart enough today to not say, "well, my mom did this and my dad did this and I did this." Eeek. Oh, well. I know more about Eli Whitney than I ever have in my life before. Eli Whitney and neuro - what more could a girl ask for ?

T: Tennis. Yippee yeah. Joy oh joy. My sons have caught the tennis bug and they are loving it. My youngest one seems to be a natural. He’s got this really lean body and he does really well already considering he’s never played before. I’m still in love with tennis. I want to move up in lines. I’m sure I could beat the next line. Maybe not, though. I was sure I’d get an A in neuro and I’m having a very humbling experience with that class.

U: U. How are u doing ? Let me hear from you. Yes, I’m crazy busy as a lunatic woman. I still want to hear from you. I might not email or call you back, but I’ll definitely read the email and listen to the voicemail. Just know that I’m thinking of all of you and I do pray for you all. I’m very thankful for everyone in my life. I know I say that often. I truly mean it.

V: Violin. Have you been listening to the world’s tinest violin playing in the background everytime I whine, complain and moan about how busy I am ? If you listen closely - you can hear it. Sorry about that and thanks for listening to me whine. It keeps me from snapping a lot of the time.

W: Weekends and Working Out. Weekends ? What weekends? I used to look forward to weekends. Now, they are just a blur. If you can believe it, they are busier than my weeks and that’s saying a lot. Working out ? What’s that ? If it includes picking up a tennis raquet, then hey, I’m good. Otherwise, who has the time ? Not me. I really need to do better.  

X: Xray.  The Xray of my knee revealed absolutely nothing back in December. Am I still having the pain ? Yep, you bet. What am I going to do about it ? Oh, I figure I’ll just keep playing tennis on it and one day, I’ll get a whole brand new knee in the "knee replacement" pack. Yippe. I’m trying to lose some weight to see if that helps. I’m sure something is torn in there. Oh, well.

Y: Yellow Bus. I’m going on my son’s field trip to Baton Rouge and we get to ride on the "yellow bus". Got any spare valium you don’t need ? It’s going to be a blast. I’m not sure I’m going to have on makeup at 7am. Geepers. The instructions say "make sure you wear a baseball hat." I read that and thought , "thank goodness I don’t have to try and fix this mop that day." Oh, oh, oh, I will wear my "Queen of the Jungle" hat. I’m sure it will be perfect for that day.

Z: ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Have I put you completely to sleep ? See, you don’t need any sleep meds. Just come here and read. Sleep is something I’m definitely lacking in. I think that’s pretty evident in this post. Grins. I promise to do much better with my blogging efforts. I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m still alive and kicking, just crazy busy. Talk to you soon. Now, go get some ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That’s an order! 

ps: If I missed a letter of the alphabet- just blame it on my public school education and lack of sleep.  

    Today was my first day in my grad school curriculum. I was so incredibly nervous and anxious. I wasn’t expecting it(anxiety) to be quite as bad as it was last night and this morning. After I got over my initial fear when I entered the Student Union, I did well. At least my knees stopped shaking.

    In my class, I learned that my syllabus and first lecture was online. Ugh. How come no one bothered to tell me about the little feature called "blackboard" ? Once I started taking notes in class, it dawned on me that grad school is a whole lot like undergrad school. Lots of taking notes. Lots of studying. Hmmmm, is this what I signed up for ?

    I talked some to the girl sitting next to me. She informed me that half of the class was taking "neuro" again for the 2nd time. I asked "why ?". She told me that they all flunked the midterm. Oh, joy. I don’t think I was prepared for my first class to be that tough.

    On a fun note regarding today, I bought a "human brain" coloring book. Woohoo. I’m going to have fun. I also learned about a book that sounds very interesting.  The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.  It was written by a man who had a major stroke and could only communicate using his left eye. I can’t wait to read it.

    And just so you don’t think I’ve lost my nerdness somewhere along the way I assure you that I have not. Here’s proof:

    See how bad I look ? That’s from no sleep the night before. Anxiety, baby. 

    I’m excited about going back to school. Lots of reading and memorization to be done already. Let the games begins !