I Could Write a Book

    Well, I did it. I just dropped my classes I had registered for next semester. I don’t know whether to feel relieved or to cry. I feel like a failure. I know intellectually that just because I’m not going next semester doesn’t mean that I’m never going back. I think it is the fear that if I stop school now that I won’t finish. I think I’m realizing just how important my Master’s degree is to me.

    So, that brings me to the next step in my life - the "presidency".  I am not going to self-nominate. If someone thinks I’ll be a good candidate they will have to put in the nomination for me. Also, if I don’t win - then back to school I go for the next semester. No harm done, right ? ~breathes deeply~ It’s just super scary to me. How am I supposed to know if I’m making the right decision? You’d think this would get easier the older you get.

If I went to more places like this ~~~~>   I’m sure the decision wouldn’t be so daunting !

    I feel like I have a lot more to accomplish in my life right now. I pray that I have a lot more life to accomplish everything in. Don’t forget to say ~I love you~ to the one(s) you love.  

    I have a very difficult time with forgiveness. Intellectually, I know that I’m supposed to forgive. Spiritually, I know I’m supposed to forgive. Humanely, I find it extremely difficult. Even when I do forgive I find myself not "forgetting". I know that at some point in all of our lives we’ve had something happen to us that was "bad". Something that others would look at and say "how could you possibly forgive that person ?" Sound familiar ?

    I’m the recepient of a lot of forwarded emails. Lots. I do not respond to them, but generally, I read them all. Today, as I was thinking about this issue of forgiveness, one of my emails was a story on it. One that I need to read daily. So, in case you haven’t read this story, I’m going to share it with you.

Happy April All ! This month has definitely arrived with its share of showers. I’m going to be looking in May to see if these showers brought us any May flowers. The ones I have blooming right now are looking beautiful. Geepers, I’m getting old. Only old people talk about their flowers, right ? lol.

I bet you can’t guess that I have a very busy month this month. Nope, not me. Snorts. What is it with my life right now ? I’ve truly cut a lot of stuff out. In fact, I’d say that I’m doing the bare minimum lately and I still feel overwhelmed. I’ll be glad when I don’t feel overwhelmed right now. When is that ? I’m projecting sometime around May 22. Woohooo. I know I’m not supposed to want to rush my life by, but right now, I keep looking at that date and saying "If I can make it till then, I’ve got it made." Between now and then, it’s going to be busy.

I’ve got too much on my mind. Too many things, people, test, etc that I’m worried about right now. Anyone want to run away with me ? And yes, I’ve turned it all over to God. I know He’s in control. I know that for whatever reason a lot of this stuff is happening - God has a plan and a reason for it. Thought I’d save some of the email to me. lol. I know that they’re out of love, truly.

This past week pretty much sucked in my opinion. I forgot things for the kids at their school. I lost my first tennis match of the season. I’m pretty sure I bombed my test this week. It’s been PMS on top of all of that and well, I haven’t been in the best place mentally. I told my sister that I’ve considered going on something. Yes, it’s been that tough. I still haven’t scheduled my son’s bday party for his school friends. UGH. I hate those things.

Postive things in my life :1) I’m still alive and I have my health and even though I lose in tennis - I still get to enjoy being outside. I love, love, love being outside. I love being in the sun and hearing the nature sounds. Someone please remind me of this when I’m totally freaking out in Michigan this summer. lol. 2) I’m registered for another class next semester. Oh, it interfers with the "Jr League board meeting". Dang. I might have to resign. Do you see the smile on my face ? I’m bad. I’m bad. I’m bad. 3) I’m losing weight. woohoo. I’m finally to a place in my life where I’m having to make myself eat at times. I can say that this is truly a first. 4) I have beautiful children and a nice home and a wonderful church and lovely friends. I know I’m blessed. I really am and I am so incredibly thankful for everything and everyone in my life.

I think I will end this first April post of mine on that last postive note. I hope you all enjoy your day. Don’t forget to tell the ones you love that you love them.

Peace out,

Babycakes 

A: Age - today is my last day to be 40 ! Must say that I’m very happy to be 40 today. lol. Tomorrow is (ack, gasp) 41. A = not the grade I’m going to make in neuroanatomy. (I’ll live - I think).

B: Birthdays, basketball, and basket case. Three birthdays are coming right up in my nuclear family - mine, J’s, and T’s. whew. Basketball - T is playing for his school team and loving it. Basket case - what I am. Way too Busy. B = the grade I better end up with in neuroanatomy.

C:  Church and Crazy.  For lent this year, I said I was not going to miss a single Sunday of Church. So far, so good. (sad, huh?) Crazy = that just pretty much sums up me and my life. I keep repeating "this too shall pass." 

D: Dumb and Disney. Good grief, I’ve never felt so dumb in all my life. Being out of school and jumping back in has shown me that I lost quiet a few brain cells with marriage, kids, and their craziness. Disney World rocked this last trip. The kids are at such great ages to really enjoy it. We had a very nice time with only minimal stress.

E:  Energy or lack thereof, and Excited.Energy =  I have none. Even though I’m not making an A in my class, I’m really Excited about being back at school. I do love the energy on campus and I love learning. I do not necessarily love studying, but I love learning.

F: Family and Fat. My nuclear family seems to be doing okay right now. We have our good days and our bad days. I think we are too busy to notice all the little things that would generally get on our nerves. A quote from my eldest son the other day "mom, I used to think you were fat, but I don’t anymore."  Uh, gee thanks, son. lol.

G:  G can only stand for G my middle son. I know I brag on him a lot, but he is the most sensitive little thing and so loving. A suck-up, some people call him. My little "golden boy" - for his hair. He really makes me smile. He is still little enough that he wants you to hold him and love on him and give him kisses. My 3rd grader is now embarassed by the display of motherly love.

H: Home - my childhood home. The house I grew up in just got sold. I went and spent a while there last weekend so I could take pictures, talk about memories, show my children the tree my father planted for me, etc. It is very bittersweet telling it goodbye. I’m happy for my sis to be moving to bigger and better, but I’m very sad to know that I’ll never go back "home".

I: Interesting. Is this "February fill-in" interesting to you ? Probably not, but it’s a way for me to recap a month that just flew by in my life. Whew. Time truly flies.

J: Jealousy, Jr League, and Jenny Craig. Eeek, every now and then we’ve got some jealousy issues going on with the siblings. I think the eldest gets a little jealous when he sees his sister getting attention. He accidentally uttered the words one day - "that’s not your mom" to J. He got a lot of tough love that day. I bet he thinks twice before saying something like that again, though. Parenting is hard. OMG, Jr League takes up so much of my time. I’m sure I’ve pissed some people off, but I’ve started saying "no". Sorry, I have a life. I can’t come to 4 meetings in one week no matter how much of a hissy fit you throw. Jenny Craig - I’m determined to lose "Montana" - my ass for those of you who do not know what I call my big ole bum. I’m doing okay on the program. I could do better.

K: K is all about me. me. me. me. Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ve asked for a "grill" and for lobsters for my dinner. Dh asked me "do you really want a grill for your birthday ?" Well, unless you really want to go buy me the watch of my dreams - a grill will do. Opps, some of the princess just came out. grins.

L: Love and Laughter. I love my life. I love my children. I love my friends - even the ones who really get on my nerves. I love my family - even the ones who really get on my nerves.  I love to laugh. I really do. I can’t wait for "Dan in Real Life" to come out so I can buy it and laugh and laugh and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.

M:  Michigan. Michigan - here I come. I can’t believe that I’m actually looking forward to going to Michigan this year. I’ll either be up there for 4 or 5 weeks. I can’t wait till there isn’t "jack shit" to do except start a fire and roast marshmellows on the beach. I think it is going to be wonderful to get the kids away from the crazy schedule we have here. My sis and her children are coming up for 2 weeks and I can’t wait to make more memories with them. We had the absolute best time together the last time. It’s going to be grand.

N: Nerves, neurons, neuroanatomy. I’m so sick of learning about nevers, neurons, blah blah blah - I will celebrate when I finish this class. smiles. I still love it, though. Yeah, yeah. That’s a bit of a contradiction. Hey, I’d be boring, otherwise.

O: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Lord. My mind just went completely in the gutter when I typed out "O". Lol. I think that has to do with my friends on my board. Let’s just say, I’ve invested in "fish oil" - for my skin. Yeah, right. LOL.

P: Princess J. Princess J or Princess Mini-me is my daughter. It is amazing how one minute she can completely get on my nerves for doing whatever she shouldn’t be doing and the next minute she will be singing like there is no tomorrow. She loves to sing. She loves her mommy. She is so dang stubborn. She is going to be 5 next week. I can’t believe it. We’re going to have her first "big girl" birthday party for her. Inviting the whole class. Did I lose my mind ?

Q: Queen of the Jungle. That’s what it says on the Disney hat that dh got me for Valentine’s Day. I think that’s pretty appropiate considering I call our house "the jungle". It’s wild and loud in here. The kids are everywhere. But you know what ? I really own a home. Not a museum like some houses I know. My home is definitely lived in and definitely looks and sounds like a jungle.

R: Rest - or lack thereof. I never get enough rest. I was excited the other morning when I realized that I slept for 6 1/2 hours. There isn’t enough time in the day (or night) to do everything. There are times when I’m up at 3:30am studying for a test because I’m too anxious to sleep. I just figure if I’m awake I might as well be doing something productive.

S: School. Whose bright idea was it for me to go back to school ? Also, what about these school projects that the kids have to do ? As dh said last night "it’s a myth that these projects (school projects) are for kids". All 3 of us were working on a project of T’s that was due today. We’ve been working on it for 3 weeks. I just pray that T was smart enough today to not say, "well, my mom did this and my dad did this and I did this." Eeek. Oh, well. I know more about Eli Whitney than I ever have in my life before. Eli Whitney and neuro - what more could a girl ask for ?

T: Tennis. Yippee yeah. Joy oh joy. My sons have caught the tennis bug and they are loving it. My youngest one seems to be a natural. He’s got this really lean body and he does really well already considering he’s never played before. I’m still in love with tennis. I want to move up in lines. I’m sure I could beat the next line. Maybe not, though. I was sure I’d get an A in neuro and I’m having a very humbling experience with that class.

U: U. How are u doing ? Let me hear from you. Yes, I’m crazy busy as a lunatic woman. I still want to hear from you. I might not email or call you back, but I’ll definitely read the email and listen to the voicemail. Just know that I’m thinking of all of you and I do pray for you all. I’m very thankful for everyone in my life. I know I say that often. I truly mean it.

V: Violin. Have you been listening to the world’s tinest violin playing in the background everytime I whine, complain and moan about how busy I am ? If you listen closely - you can hear it. Sorry about that and thanks for listening to me whine. It keeps me from snapping a lot of the time.

W: Weekends and Working Out. Weekends ? What weekends? I used to look forward to weekends. Now, they are just a blur. If you can believe it, they are busier than my weeks and that’s saying a lot. Working out ? What’s that ? If it includes picking up a tennis raquet, then hey, I’m good. Otherwise, who has the time ? Not me. I really need to do better.  

X: Xray.  The Xray of my knee revealed absolutely nothing back in December. Am I still having the pain ? Yep, you bet. What am I going to do about it ? Oh, I figure I’ll just keep playing tennis on it and one day, I’ll get a whole brand new knee in the "knee replacement" pack. Yippe. I’m trying to lose some weight to see if that helps. I’m sure something is torn in there. Oh, well.

Y: Yellow Bus. I’m going on my son’s field trip to Baton Rouge and we get to ride on the "yellow bus". Got any spare valium you don’t need ? It’s going to be a blast. I’m not sure I’m going to have on makeup at 7am. Geepers. The instructions say "make sure you wear a baseball hat." I read that and thought , "thank goodness I don’t have to try and fix this mop that day." Oh, oh, oh, I will wear my "Queen of the Jungle" hat. I’m sure it will be perfect for that day.

Z: ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Have I put you completely to sleep ? See, you don’t need any sleep meds. Just come here and read. Sleep is something I’m definitely lacking in. I think that’s pretty evident in this post. Grins. I promise to do much better with my blogging efforts. I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m still alive and kicking, just crazy busy. Talk to you soon. Now, go get some ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That’s an order! 

ps: If I missed a letter of the alphabet- just blame it on my public school education and lack of sleep.  

    You didn’t read that wrong. Today is really Friday. I’m just tired of Fridays. I’m starting a "Thank God It’s Monday" club. Even though it is summer my Fridays are still bringing on the craziness. Oh, but what fun craziness. hehe. Tonight is my sister’s babyshower. Tomorrow is my leadership day. (Jr League). Tomorrow afternoon and night is Cub Scouts crap with the Zephers. Of course, then there is Mass on Sunday morning and maybe on Sunday afternoon I might actually do some laundry and cleaning. Joy.

    This morning I went and worked out with my friend. If it hadn’t been for her, I would not have been at the gym. Lol. I’m trying to get back on the bandwagon. Aiming for 4 days at the gym next week. One day I’m in Baton Rouge. Woohoo. My favorite Louisiana city.

    Remember, TGIF stands for "Toes Goes In First" in my book.

Peace out. Have a great weekend.  

    Tonight, I spent 2 hours cleaning the entire top of my dresser. My goodness. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t realize it was that bad. I had jewelry laying everywhere. Things the kids have given me on there. It was a complete mess. Was - past tense. Now, it is completely organized and beautiful and shiney. Woohoo! I’m glad I got that little push to do that.

    My goal for the remainder of this year is to get my entire house clutter free. "Less is More" is my new motto for life. I just can’t stand all the junk. I don’t need it. It clutters my "peace". Lol. Occasionally, I get weird. I really should have been born a hippie.

    Well, at least I did something productive today. It surely wasn’t cooking. This week could rank among the worst cooked dinners ever for children by a mother week - in my house, at least.

    I’ve got the craziest day ever tomorrow. The first part of crazy is a class at church on "The Hidden Powers of Kindness". It couldn’t come at a better time. I have been about to kill a couple people lately. The 2nd part of the day I’m driving to the Capital building to get some papers apostilled. (for the adoption stuff)  That’s always fun. Not ! So, night night all. Sweet, lazy dreams.  

Thank God I’m pretty lazy right now or I would be driving somewhere to get chocolate. I want some M & M’s or oreos or something sweet so badly. I mean like very badly.

Today wasn’t my marvelous Monday as I thought it would be. Tennis wasn’t as much fun as I was hoping it would be and it was dang hot out there. I was productive today so that’s a good thing. I invested a couple more hundred dollars into my dog. Good grief. Why are vet visits so expensive ?

The lady that I met last week at church that I thought was so nice actually called me today. That was a nice thing for her to do.

Well, other than feeling blah right now and really craving chocolate I don’t have much to say. So - night night.  

Vacation Bible School at church was fun. It was very nice to meet some new church members.  This VBS is just like the VBS at my old church. I was very surprised. Pleasantly surprised and the kids all had a great time. Both boys got to meet kids who are going into the same grade at their new school. That was very nice.

I did a RPM class tonight. Spin class on crack. Good grief. It was wonderful, but I’ve already taken 2 Aleve for my legs. lol. My legs are aching. This teacher is training for an Iron Man next month and tonight she made us do "resistance training". It obviously worked. I didn’t burn as many calories tonight (594 in one hour), but I’m thinking I built muscle. Whew boy howdie.

I even managed dinner and grocery shopping in tonight. Go Me. I didn’t get to the laundry, but hey, the clothes are clean.  I’ll fold them tomorrow. (Hopefully, lol).

I almost forgot to mention what made today so marvelous. I had a friend give me one of the sweetest surprises today. It wasn’t asked for at all. Just out of the blue.  Those kinds of surprises are the best kind.

Peace out.  

Today was another long day. Extremely interesting. Mass was 2 hours long and yes, I did attend. I loved the Feast of the Corpus Christi. It was beautiful. Hot, too. The part that was outside.

I actually scrubbed the master bathroom before going to church. Have I ever mentioned just how weird I truly am ? If not, now you have proof. lol.

Tomorrow starts Cub Scout Camp for my eldest. I feel really odd for not volunteering this year. I just figured with me teaching Vacation Bible School the next week that I’m covering my "volunteering" hours for the summer.

I’m going to help my sister do "painting" tomorrow. Do you know that I won’t even paint my own house ? That I hire some poor soul to do that for me and here I am going to paint for her. She better love me big time. She is surely going to owe me. lol. I’m such a great sis.

Peace out, Babycakes.  

Just got home from seeing the cutest movie. "Surf’s Up".  I loved it. I loved all the little penguins and the little bird "Mikey". It made me want to go back to Hawaii so badly. I can’t believe I just typed that. Lol. I swore when I got home (just a couple months ago) that I wouldn’t go back for 10 years. Well, I’ve changed my mind. I want to go back next year. Wonders how I can finagle that trip. hehe.

Today was an okay day. It’s Friday again. Boo hiss. That means I’m in for craziness again and I really am. Two different baseball games, one dance recital (4 hours long), one spin class (if I wake up in time) and one wonderful Mass that I can’t wait to go to. We are celebrating the Feast of Corpus Christi on Sunday. It is going to be beautiful.

I pray, pray, pray that my puppy sleeps longer than 5:20 in the morning. Dang it. How do you teach a dog that the weekend is here and that you don’t have to get up so early ? He is doing so much better so I’m really trying not to complain. Do they make "beano" for dogs ? Good grief.

On that note, I’m off. Hang ten, Dude. Surf’s up.  

At first, I wasn’t so sure that I was going to deem this a "marvelous Monday" or not, but upon thinking - it was. Yes, it was a bit hectic. Yes, it was a bit long, but overall, it was a great Monday.

We hit a couple of milestones today. That’s what made it a marvelous Monday. My middle son went to his first day of camp ever. Now, this is a "moma’s boy". He holds my heart in his little palms. He also could win an Oscar for how incredibly dramatic he can be over every little thing, but today when I was telling him ‘goodbye’ and his big ole brown eyes welled up with tears, well, he can stay a moma’s boy for just as long as he wants to. When I picked him up I asked if he did anything fun.  He stated that "he didn’t do a thing" at camp today, but when questioned he rode a horse, tried to shoot a bow and arrow, refused to swim, had fun in the canoe, and told me "thanks, mom" for letting me go. Yep, it has been a Marvelous Monday, indeed.

One other neat thing happened today. I went to my first class in 10 years. Boy howdie do I miss being a student. I’d love to be a professional student. I love learning. It was so nice to be in an academic setting. What class ? A class on "grant writing". Doesn’t that just win all the awards for interesting ? Hehe. I truly enjoyed it and learned tons. It made me want to go write a grant for something. LOL. I was wondering "are there any grantors out there who are just dying to give a grant to a mom - for no reason other than for her to see if she could actually do it?" This little class really sparked my interest in going back to school. Once all the chitlin’s are back in school - I might just be signing myself up for something.

I told someone that I wanted to go to a quiet place. Sometimes, I do feel like my life is too busy, too hectic and definitely too loud. 3 kids, 2 dogs, 1 retarded cat, 1 gay fish and 2 phones in a partridge pear tree just all make too much noise. So, I was asked "what is your quiet place like ?" (or something similar) Well, I’ve been thinking about that today. The place that always seems to pop up in my head is Sacre Coeur.  More specifically, the steps of Sacre Coeur. I’ve done this a couple of times in my life now and I really hope to do it a couple more before I die, but I love to take the train out from Paris to Sacre Coeur or Montmarte. While walking up to the church, I stop by little vendor stands and I buy a sandwich or two, some wine and I go sit on the steps - all before dusk and I watch Paris "light up". It is so neat to see the first twinkles. Before you know it all of Paris is lit and it is one of the most majical sites to me. Not sure that made it into the 1000 places to see before you die book - but I’ll stick it in mine. After watching the lights come on, I always go into the church and just be quiet. That’s my quiet place.

Sleep tight.