Wedding Anniversary
Today is my wedding anniversary. I know that I hinted about my "odd" day in yesterday’s post. Well, let me explain. I’m going to give the short version. On my wedding day, I kept praying that my "first" true love would walk in and stop the wedding. He didn’t. So you ask "why did you get married in the first place if that was how you felt on your wedding day ?" My answer = my father. I absolutely loved my father more than anything on earth, at that time. I didn’t have any children then. I had "lived in sin" with dh for 4 years before we actually got married. When I told my father that I was moving in dh I thought the man was going to have a stroke on me. He was screaming at me "I didn’t raise my daughter this way." He was completely red in the face, his nostrils were flaring. I knew without a doubt that I had let my father down. How old was I ? I was 27. So, there was no way that I could let my father down again by not marrying someone I had been living in sin with previously.
A couple times dh and I have almost got a divorce. Twice to be exact. The first time I think he was ready to leave and the second time I was ready to leave. He literally came to me on hand and knees begging me to not take the children away from him. I didn’t. And I won’t. I do not want to raise my children in a split home.
So, here we are at today. My wedding anniversary. When I shop for cards I carefully look at them. I don’t buy the ones that say "I married my best friend or I couldn’t live without you, etc". Sometimes, it is very difficult to think "what if ? " What if I hadn’t married him ? What would my life be like now ? Where would I be living ? Would I have children ? Would I be working ? I think we can all play the "what if ?" game. I do know that I wouldn’t trade anything in this world for my children. They mean everything to me and for that, I am extremely thankful that I married dh. I have three beautiful children. I do not know what I would do without them.
Surprisingly, my day has been very nice. It really has been. In fact, it has been pretty much perfect. Dh has been very kind and tender. I had a great workout - even thought I felt like I sucked completely at it. We , as a family, had a wonderful evening together. We went to the sushi restaurant that dh and I stopped at the night of our wedding. You know how that goes - the wedding couple doesn’t get to eat at the wedding because they are too busy. After dinner, we went to the bookstore and had a really nice time. I know I’ve said this before but I am thrilled that my chidlren love books as much as I do. Oh, dh loved my gift to him. He really did. I gave him a fishing trip with a local fishing Captain around here. So, all things considered, I really had a nice day. I wasn’t so sure yesterday how I would feel about it today.
The end of my odd day.
Peace out, Babycakes.
