Fireworks
Fireworks don’t mean the same to me anymore. Now when I hear them I think of my father’s death. In my mind, the fireworks started right after my father died. 8 years ago today. He died at 7:35pm, holding my hand or rather I was holding his hand. I can remember everything. How he looked. How he sounded. It was horrible. When I think of the time he died and the timing of the fireworks they couldn’t have happened right after his death but more like 1 1/2 hours past his death. It really doesn’t matter. That is what I will always remember.
The last words he ever spoke outloud were "I love you". He told that to me and he must have had to use a lot of energy because when he said them they were very loud. I hope that no one ever has to watch their loved one die. I know in reality that it happens daily, but it is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Aww, man. I’ve done so well today - until now. sighs. I’m glad we’re going out of town tomorrow, but in one way I wish we were staying home. My sis and her family are having a BBQ at my father’s old house tomorrow. I hate that I am going to miss out on that. We always talk of my father and tell tales of him.
I wish that my Poppa was still here. I know he would be a wonderful grandfather for my children. I’m sad that they miss out on that experience. I hope that I am a good grandmother one day. Not any time soon - but one day in 20 or 30 years. LOL.
So, ~~Happy 4th of July~~ for tomorrow.
Just wanted to send hugs. Thanks for this post. It’s a good reminder not to take loved ones for granted. Love ya!
Comment by Tiff — July 3, 2007 @ 10:27 pm